Things I learned as an adult boy
- If you find yourself caught in the middle of a conflict between two of your close friends, don't take sides. Remember that they are both your friends and that they both put you in an awkward position, so they can both go fuck themselves. Make sure to steal valuable things and/or money from them before ignoring them and giving them dirty looks from now on.
- The older you get, the more blackouts you have, so time seems to fly, unburdened by remembering things.
- Some ladies like to perform oral sex, some ladies don't, but will commit demeaning and inhuman sexual horrors upon your person. Even if you don't ask.
- The older you get, the more blackouts you have, so time seems to fly, unburdened by remembering things.
- Drunks and children speak the most truth. But they're idiots so their truth counts for shit all. Drunk children on the other hand...
- Treat people as you'd like to be treated. If you're a masochist get consent first.
- "Chafing" is not a sexually transmitted disease.
- There's a thin line between love and hate... Or a pill. You could crush the pill maybe...
- When engaging in occultist genocide, ask yourself "Is she really worth it?".
- There hasn't been a shape-changing UFO hovering outside my window for years and years. They call that "Moon". It's kinda like a planet that goes around our planet.
- I tend to give myself too much credit. Coz wit d free txt msgs n all i dnt rly use d whole €20.
- I'll never have friends like the ones I had when I was twelve. I heard they gave the whole paedophile ring the death sentence.
and then bye bye.
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