Will surrender sanity for food

So my da says "Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job!"... I became an artist instead.  It's like a job but you rarely get paid and you do something you love.

 I'd prefer to be a T-Rex.

A FILM CRITICKED!

- G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (2009)

Like "Team America", but the puppets were more wooden.

now i'm done

 

Philosophy for defects

- When you dig a hole, the pile of dirt always seems bigger than the hole itself.  The deeper you dig, the emptier it gets.  My back aches, my hands are blistered, and so on in an emo fashion...

- The truth is; the eyes are the windows to nothing but sacs of aqueous humour. 

- I get high a lot, but I don't think I know as much about aerodynamics as I thought.

- The plural of Jimi Hendrix?  Jimi Hendrices?...



And now, a word from our sponsor

FILMS CRITICKING!

- The Beaver (2011)
Jim Henson's "Fight Club".

- Skyline (2010)
Like a reeeally long trailer for something that looks good.

There was some people in it.  I think they were actors...

- Spy Kids 4D (2011)
Smell is not a dimension.


- The Tunnel (2011)
A great remake of "The Blair Witch Project"... Sincerely.  I really enjoyed it.


Bye bye now!

If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all...

... Nothing at all... Nothing at all... Nothing at all...

I challenged myself to see how far I could count with film titles (not including sequel numbers).  I did this far

1.   One flew over the cuckoo's nest
2.   Two to tango
3.   Three men and a baby
4.   Four weddings and a funeral
5.   9 to 5
6.   6 days, 7 nights
7.   Seven
8.   8 mile
9.   9/ Nine/ The Nines/ 9 to 5/ K-9/ The whole nine yards
10.  10 thing i hate about you
11.  Ocean's eleven
12. Ocean's twelve
13. Ocean's thirteen

If anyone can think of 14 and/or onwards, comment it and I'll come around your's, make chicken fried rice, give you a deep tissue massage and sing "don't wanna miss a thing" by aerosmith to you.  You'll fucking love it you slut!


Now... FILMS CRITICKING!

- Super 8 (2011)
Its like E.T. had a bath-house quickie with Michael Bay.  No emotional connection and nobody was satisfied, despite everyone cumming.  Kick ass soundtrack!


- Sucker Punch (2011)
Its like inception on a boner.

I feel like I'm playing a really exciting computer game in a trendy nightclub, while masturbating.  I love it!


COMING SOON... a remake of Spider-Man... seriously?!!... I mean, FUCKING SERIOUSLY?!!

Here, have this

First impressions are importint... ... I mean...

How do you start these things? Here look at what I did!

Hmmm... I was watchin


FILMS CRITICKING!


- X-Men: First Class (2011)
James McAvoy's portrayal of a young Derren Brown was amazing and Michael Fassbender's Irish accent was perfect at the end.

- Battle Los Angeles (2011)
Felt like I should be holding an Xbox controller and shouting abuse at foreigners through a headset.


- The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010)
Nicholas Cage doesn't ruin it.


- Splice (2009)
Adrian Brody ruins it.  As usual.


Coming sooner than you'd hope...

That'll do yeah?